The Blog of littleduckie

In the last couple of months, from time to time I've thought of something that is really nice about being on my own, but it's easy to forget those things when  you start feeling lonely.  I've been really sad the last two or three nights, thinking about what I've lost and what could have been and all that, so I decided it was time to put together a list so I don't forget how much better my life is in many ways.

Now, some of these things don't apply to living with my dad & will have to wait till I'm in my own place again, but I think it's important to include them anyway.  So here goes!

1.  I can put myself first -- my tastes, my values, my needs, my wishes.  I don't think monsieur ever realized how often we had different preferences, because I automatically bought us HIS brand of toothpaste, HIS favorite flavor of ice cream, etc.

2.  I can make religion a higher priority.

3.  I can spend my money as I choose without justifying my choices to anyone else.

4.  I don't have continually disappointed expectations (nothing is worse than feeling lonely when you're in a relationship!).

5.  I don't constantly worry about being or doing what someone else wants.

6.  I have more time, energy, and focus to pursue my interests & hobbies.

7.  I'm less self-conscious & dissatisfied with my appearance, and less self-critical generally.

8.  I don't have to justify where I go & when I go there.  He didn't want me to go anywhere alone or even take the garbage out to the dumpster at night, supposedly because he "worried" about me.  Yeah, okay . . .

9.  I can nap whenever I want.

10.  I don't have to worry about the privacy of my computer & personal papers.

11.  I don't have to deal with anyone else's clutter, bad habits, emotional problems, lack of taste, bad moods, etc.

12.  I don't have to share the phone, TV, stereo, or Internet connection.

13.  I can have guests or repairmen in without someone else's approval.  Seriously, monsieur was so weird about having anyone into the apartment that I lived without a working oven for about a year, because he didn't want the maintenance guys in our space.  And when the Mormons come knocking, I like to invite them in & offer them a meal.  Those poor kids have a really hard life while they're out on their missions!  Couldn't do that with monsieur.  He had no sympathy for other people's troubles and I did less for others because of that.

14.  I don't know yet, but I'm sure to think of a few more things!

Love y'all!
Duckie :)

Update, Dec. 8, 2008:

Okay, I thought of a few more things right after I wrote this, but never came back to add them.  So I left off at 14 . . .

14.  I don't have to watch those awful superhero & action movies.

15.  I don't have to pretend to be interested in sci-fi and fantasy novels anymore just to be "nice."

16.  I don't have to listen to somebody who is approximately the size of Henry VIII in later life criticizing women for their looks and weight!

And the big one that just occurred to me tonight:

17.  I don't have to listen to that stupid Jack Black CD anymore.  Now, I found "The Pick of Destiny" as amusing as anyone else did.  I still like the song about how the government totally sucks.  But I hated that other CD . . . I used to get some of those songs stuck in my head for days on end, until I was ready to throw myself off a bridge just to MAKE IT STOP!!!

That's it.  :)